Emily Takes On Thailand

This post is going to be kind of long, but only because SO MUCH has happened in the past few days. Last weekend, my host family asked me if I wanted to go on a little trip for my day off. I said "sure, why not!" having no idea what we were about to do. My host mom knocked on my door yelling "Emily, gin khao!!" at 6:30 (even though we definitely agreed on 7:00, farewell, zzz's). I groggily got ready, grabbed my backpack, and jumped in the car with my family. In about two hours, we arrived at our first destination: Kanchanaburi war cemetery. Here, almost 7,000 prisoners of the Japanese during World War II are buried. These prisoners were forced to build the Thailand/Burma railway, which stretched over 258 miles. The pictures of the prisoners building the railway are quite disturbing, and I'm slightly embarrassed that I did not know anything about it beforehand. The cemetery was beautiful, and also filled with Dutch and Australian tourists looking ...

I've been trying to find the right words for this next post for a few days now. So many emotions are swirling around inside me, it makes my stomach do flips. Lately, the thought of getting out of bed in the morning is a little daunting. I think "God, I did it all yesterday, do I seriously have to do it again?" Part of that sentiment is from fatigue: sleep is hard to come by since we've had more lesson planning to do, and after that work is done I sit in bed awake wondering if I have all the materials I need, if my observation is going to go well, and if a lizard is going to fall on my face when I fall asleep (they are so rude). This fear to start the day also comes from a thought that I try to ignore, but creeps into my mind anyway: I am tested here every day, and at first I was passing greatly. But the tests continue to get harder. I should be better at biking, I should know more Thai. I should collaborate more with my co-teacher. And now the water is risi...

I am sitting at home after a long week of training, smelling the (cranberry sauce?) that my host sister is making for the Chinese New Year, and doing some reflecting. These past few days have been the hardest so far. I'm dealing with some personal things that I knew I would have to deal with eventually. I was awake for most of last night, unsure of myself. I was missing home, missing the snow. And for the first time since being here, I felt alone. It was a strange feeling. Before coming here, my incredible (incredible!) friend Abby gifted me with letters she collected from my friends. The letters should be opened under specific circumstances during my service (i.e. "Open when you need to laugh" or "Open when you miss home.") I'm not totally sure why, but something compelled me to open "Open when you need to make a big decision" from my good friend, Taylor. Of course, if you know Taylor, you know it was beautifully written. But the line t...